Next time you find yourself looking to gain control over every matter in your life, ask yourself this question: Why don’t I just have a little faith? Like, a little bit more faith. Or maybe — complete faith that things will work out, so I don’t have to worry about trying to gain control over things I can’t control. I’ve found so many of life’s problems arrive when we try to gain mastery over too many things.
We crave control as humans! We desire to gain control over outcomes that in most instances, we cannot possibly control. We look for control in our relationships, both consciously and subconsciously. We seek control over all our emotions, which is equivalent to trying to stop the force of the ocean’s waves.
We can control our anger, but we can’t control our frustrations. We can admire the work of one of our peers, but it’s hard to not feel envious when they win an award and we aren’t recognized.
Control leads us to mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually attempt to control the stimuli and actions in our lives. Faith relinquishes control, in most instances to a higher power (God) or to the belief that another outcome is meant to be. Life teaches us that we will never control everything. And if we’re keeping score, the statistics are simply mind-boggling.
Make Your Choice
For all the times that you’ve tried to control something in you life, the odds are overwhelming that you have tried and failed. With such a poor record of success, wouldn’t it make more sense to believe that things will work out? And yet, control is perceived as “trying” with a stronger will. Faith, in a purely agnostic sense, could foolishly be perceived as laziness. Letting something be without care.
Control is not always caring. Faith shows that we care beyond measure. Faith means we care so much, that we mentally and spiritually go outside of ourselves, to place our trust and reliance in something else that will impact our lives for the better.
On a more philosophical context, I believe that our desire for control often jettisons faith to the side. What I mean is — so much of living in this world is having faith that very big decisions, projects and outcomes will work out just fine. We want to succeed on a huge business project so we can get promoted. We want to have a healthy child. We hope that our business idea will turn into the next great start-up.
Values Live Through
We can get there by hard work, diligence, perseverance and coordinated planning. We can do everything just right, gaining direct control over tasks we perform and heavily influencing tasks that others need to perform. But in the end, we’ll never have complete control. This is where faith comes in! We cannot possibly control everything. If we live thinking that we can, we’ll drive ourselves crazy!
Power-hungry craving for control will lead to anxiety, stress, fear and an enhanced perception of our own ego. If we think we can do everything ourselves or see to it that others do things precisely when we demand it, we’ll be sorely disappointed. And left hurting emotionally.
People tend to have less respect for those who are always seeking control over every outcome they touch. Rather, you’ll gain respect when you seek to influence, as opposed to always desiring control. Those of us with dominant personalities fight this battle each day. Eventually, you have to let go. Faith needs to enter the equation. Faith in yourself, faith in others, faith in God — faith that things will work out in harmony with your life.
When people recognize that you are placing greater faith in them, they’ll appreciate this respectful gesture and want to return the favor back to you. This is where reciprocity comes in. People want to know that we care. And we should care very much about the “control” over our lives. Give it up. And watch what happens when you rely on time-tested values.
My upcoming book on Values is due out November 8th! Contact me via my website here to join my newsletter and get the first chapter of my book FREE! Like my Facebook writer’s page here. Join me on your journey. Let’s Go!